


L'appel du Vide

by TheseusInTheMaze



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Anal Sex, Eldritch Abomination Ryan Bergara, Gory Imagery, Kissing, Lovecraft Pastiche, M/M, Podfic Welcome, Sounding, Tentacles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-28
Updated: 2018-12-28
Packaged: 2019-09-28 21:42:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17190842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheseusInTheMaze/pseuds/TheseusInTheMaze
Summary: Ryan wants to try something.





	L'appel du Vide

**Author's Note:**

> Title translates to "The Call of the Void" - the thing that tells you to jump off of a tall place when you're looking down at it.
> 
> Thank you to Cinco, god amongst betas.

Ryan was an odd duck.

He wasn’t a duck, obviously - he lacked feathers, although he’d shown Shane that he could grow them if he really wanted to. That had been an interesting evening. It turned out that there were a lot of things that Ryan could do, if he _really_ wanted to. 

Shane was never going to forget all of that, although sometimes the memories came to him at odd moments when he couldn’t sleep and he’d have to get up and drink a whole lot of coffee, because he wasn’t going to sleep with _that_ on the other side of his eyelids. 

Looking at Ryan right now - sprawled out on Shane’s couch like a contented cat, his hands behind his head and his feet on the coffee table - you’d never think there was anything especially odd about him. The gaps in his knowledge were surely ones that even a regular human being might have. There were probably plenty of people out there who didn’t know about Dolly the Sheep! 

“... so then, right before he puts her brain in the ectoplasm and she goes hopelessly crazy, Nyarlathotep turns to the cultist and says ‘you should have said _Yuggoth_ , not _shoggoth_!’” Ryan finished telling the joke and started cackling, curled into himself on the couch and clutching his stomach while gasping for breath. His inhumanity always became a bit more obvious when he laughed - his appearance blurred a bit around the edges, like someone putting a magnet by an old-school television. 

“Sorry, I missed the beginning of that,” said Shane, his own feet up on the coffee table and a plate of cold Chinese food balanced on his lap. 

“Don’t worry about it,” said Ryan. “I read it online, anyway. It doesn’t entirely make sense to begin with, since Yuggoth is a planet and a shoggoth is… well.” Ryan made a face as if he was trying to catch a stray thought. 

“Are _you_ a shoggoth?” Shane had never been one for Lovecraft (or any sort of _Weird Tales_ -esque fiction in general), and he had trouble keeping track of all of the different consonant-heavy entities. 

“No!” Ryan looked offended. “Do I _look_ like some kind of barely sentient mass of protoplasm?” 

“Do you want me to answer that?” Shane raised an eyebrow just for the look of the thing and Ryan let out a bark of laughter, throwing his head back. He really was an expressive laugher - his whole face opened up, and there were hints of… something in the backs of his eyes. Things that mankind wasn’t meant to know.

Well, Shane had always been one to stick his nose where it didn't belong. 

“You wouldn’t know a shoggoth if it grew teeth and bit you in the ass,” Ryan said, and reached out to steal a piece of broccoli off Shane’s plate.

Shane slapped the back of Ryan’s hand, and Ryan shot him puppy-dog eyes. “If you’re going to insult my shoggoth identification skills, you don’t get any of my dinner,” Shane informed him. 

“A thousand pardons,” said Ryan. “I’m sure you could identify a shoggoth at fifty paces.” 

“A hundred,” Shane posited. 

“A hundred,” Ryan agreed. “Although since you doubled it, shouldn’t I get a second piece of broccoli?” 

“I guess,” said Shane. “I can’t really argue with that logic.”

“I’ve seen you argue with logic before,” Ryan countered, as he snagged a piece of broccoli with his chopsticks. 

“I’ve argued with your crazy, non-Euclidean logic,” Shane argued. “That’s not the same as arguing with actual logic.”

“Logic can’t be non-Euclidean,” Ryan said from around his mouthful of broccoli. “It’s not architecture.”

“Figure of speech, figure of speech,” Shane said. “I couldn’t think of another way to describe the weirdness that is _your_ logic.”

“That’s just because your pitiful human mind can’t handle it,” said Ryan, although there wasn’t any rancor in his statement.

“Just keep telling yourself that,” said Shane, and took another swig of his drink. 

“I will,” Ryan said, and his tone had turned solemn. “I wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to you.”

“Oh, you big softie,” said Shane, and he reached a hand out to link his fingers with Ryan’s. 

Ryan’s hands were cold. Not cold enough to set off any alarm bells, per se, but they were noticeably cold. 

It had been one of the first clues, when Shane had been trying to figure certain things out. 

“I mean you as in you, and also you as in… y’know, humans,” said Ryan, looking faintly embarrassed. “You’re all kind of… well, strange, but I can’t help but like you.”

“I’m not sure if I’m insulted or not,” Shane said dryly, running his thumb across the backs of Ryan’s knuckles.

“Like, okay,” said Ryan, leaning forward to place his plate on the coffee table. “You, out of every other species in the world, have flavor. You looked at what you needed for nourishment, and you decided to add like, a million extra steps, just because you’d like it more. Like, you looked at chicken, and you said “I’m gonna eat that,” only _after_ you did that, you decided that there were a million different ways you’d do it! And then you, like, decided you liked a flavor, but you can taste infinite variations on the flavor!” He was talking excitedly, almost babbling. “You decided that you wanted sweet stuff, but then decided arbitrarily that there were multiple types of sweet. So you’ve got, like, chocolate covered nougat, stuff like that!” 

“... right,” said Shane, although he was a bit lost. He always got a bit lost when Ryan went on one of his weirder tangents. 

“I’m just saying,” said Ryan. “You’re amazing.”

“On behalf of the human race, I thank you,” Shane said dryly. 

Ryan brought Shane’s hand to his mouth and kissed the back of it, then turned it over to kiss the center of Shane’s palm. Shane’s middle finger was right up against Ryan’s hairline, the hair thin and delicate under the pad of his finger. He smoothed his index finger through Ryan’s eyebrow, and Ryan made a face. “I was talking about you, dumbass,” he told Shane, his voice only slightly muffled.

“Deepest apologies,” Shane said, and he brought his hand around to cup Ryan’s cheek, his thumb against Ryan’s cheekbone. 

Ryan had once tried to explain to him how he managed to both have and not have a body at the same time. It had made bits of Shane’s head hurt, and now he just sort of thought of it as a very well-made… fursuit. Only skin, not fur. 

Although when you said “well-made skinsuit,” that brought on some odd fucking mental images that Shane didn’t want in his head. He didn't necessarily know what Ryan looked like on the inside, but then again… well, did anyone know what anybody's insides looked like? Or their own?

Come to think of it… now Shane was really thinking about it.

“Hey, Ry?”

“Mm?”

“Can I ask a weird question?”

“Sure, what’s up?”

“Do you… like having a body?” How was he supposed to put that, anyway? It was such an odd question to ask, when you got down to it. Shane found himself having a lot of odd conversations, since he’d met Ryan. 

“I mean,” said Ryan, “it is nice to have it attached to me. Not being a floating ball of consciousness in the void is nice.”

“Were you in the void like that... for a while?” That was a terrifying thing to contemplate. 

“Time wasn’t really a… concept there,” said Ryan, his hand on Shane’s leg, squeezing his inner thigh. “So I don’t know how long it was, all things considered.”

“Right,” said Shane. 

“I really want to kiss you right now,” said Ryan. “So how about we do that?” 

“I’m always surprised by how much you like kissing,” said Shane, as he put his plate down and to the side. 

“Why would you be surprised? Why wouldn’t I like kissing?” Ryan had a hand on the side of Shane’s neck, pulling Shane closer until they were almost nose to nose. His breath smelled like their dinner and something alien and old. 

“Mouths are weird,” said Shane as he kissed Ryan, a delicate little press of their lips then pulling back so that he could keep talking. “Even I’ve got one, and sometimes the idea of putting it on someone else’s is _weird_.” 

“I disagree,” said Ryan, clamoring into Shane’s lap, his cold hands on the back of Shane’s neck and then moving up to grab handfuls of Shane’s hair. “It’s… it’s different, where I’m from.”

“Is it?” Shane put his hands on Ryan’s lower back, sliding up the length of it. Ryan’s skin was almost unnaturally smooth under his fingers, and it wasn’t cold, exactly, but it was close enough to cold that it felt unnatural. 

Shane had almost gotten used to it. 

Ryan kissed Shane again, and his tongue was in Shane’s mouth licking his teeth, then sucking on his tongue.

… Ryan wasn't the most orthodox kisser, come to think of it, but he didn’t exactly come naturally to it. He could - at the very least - be admired for how well he’d taken to it. He kissed with the passion of someone who had always been alive, although the vigour was… intense. It was the rigorousness of someone still getting used to the joy of discovering their nerve endings for the first time.

Shane kissed back and did his best to keep up. He didn’t have quite the same amount of… vigor that Ryan did, but then again it didn’t seem as new to him as it did to Ryan. 

“We blend together,” Ryan said, pressing himself as close to Shane as possible. “We… we become one, and sometime we’re one person. Only we’re not a _person_ , at least the way you view a person.”

“You’re overthinking this,” Shane said dryly, then, “wait, if you can be incorporeal, why are you so terrified of ghosts?” His fingers slipped in Ryan’s sweat, and Ryan’s shirt was soft against the backs of his knuckles. 

“Because,” Ryan said, looking embarrassed and faintly defensive, “when you’re dead, you’re dead. At least, the way _you_ people do dead.”

“Do you people do dead differently?” Shane raised an eyebrow. They’d had some variations on this conversation, but never this directly. 

Ryan shrugged. “It’s complicated,” he said. “It’s not… final for us, like it seems to be for you.” 

“Except you don’t believe it’s final, if you believe in ghosts,” said Shane. 

“I didn’t say that either,” Ryan protested. “I’ve heard the theory that a ghost is like… y’know, an imprint on the area around it, like someone taking a recording in a specific place or time.”

“So why do you try to communicate with ghosts?” 

“Because,” said Ryan, and now he looked embarrassed, “I know that it can be lonely. I didn’t… I didn’t know what being lonely was, before I kinda became shaped like this. I was never a ghost, but I was something similar, and the idea of someone who _was_ a someone stuck in a situation like that….” He trailed off.

“That got downright profound,” Shane said. 

“You don’t need to sound so surprised,” Ryan huffed. “Also, I just find the idea of permanent death eerie. Especially from you guys, since you’re basically walking meat.”

“Gee, thanks,” Shane said flatly. “Good to know you like the walking meat.”

“Hey now,” said Ryan, and he made Shane look him in the eyes, “you’re the only things anywhere made of meat.” 

Shane stared into the endless void of Ryan’s eyes - Ryan’s eyes, without any of the illusions that were usually in place. Some small part of his sanity just turned to dust and blew off - probably nothing important. 

He’d be fine.

Absolutely fine. 

He kissed Ryan again because what else was he going to do, sitting here on his couch, holding a lap full of an eldritch abomination as close to him as he could, smelling alien stars and broccoli in soy sauce. 

“Is that a good thing?” Shane’s hands went down to Ryan’s hips and Ryan sighed, nuzzling his face into the side of Shane’s head. 

“It’s… it’s interesting,” Ryan said. “I like you. I like how vulgar it is, how gross.”

“You think I’m gross,” Shane said flatly. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to tell Ryan to quit it, or to see just how deep a hole Ryan could dig himself into. 

“I mean,” Ryan said, “sex is gross. Eating is gross. Living in a body is _gross_ , and it’s the best thing I’ve done for my entire existence.”

Shane kept his eyebrow up. 

“I like this world,” Ryan said earnestly. “I like living in it, with you. I'd like any world that you’re in.”

“You’ve just got a gooey center, don’t you?” Shane sighed and leaned forward to kiss Ryan again, because the conversation was going odd places and he wasn’t sure if he was sober enough for it. 

Ryan kissed back, smiling against Shane’s lips. “More than you could ever imagine,” he said, his nails digging into Shane’s scalp. His mouth was hot and cold at the same time - the kind of contradiction that shouldn’t have existed. Ryan’s hands moved down to Shane’s sides and he squeezed, his fingertips digging into Shane’s lower back.

Shane grunted against Ryan’s mouth and rolled his hips forward, his cock hard where it was trapped in his pants. He pulled back to pant against Ryan’s mouth and Ryan sighed again, shivering. 

“I want to be in you,” Ryan said, and there was an undercurrent of… something in his voice. Lust, but other things too, things Shane didn’t entirely understand and wasn’t sure he wanted to. 

“You’ve been in me before,” Shane pointed out. 

“No, like… not just _in_ you. In all of you. I want to curl up in your belly. I want to hold your heart in my hand while it’s still beating in your chest. I want to feel your lungs inflating against mine, I want to trace the folds of your brain under my fingers and tingle with the electric current of your thoughts.” Ryan’s hips were shifting restlessly against Shane’s. Was this some kind of strange dirty talk from another dimension?

“I… I don’t work like that,” Shane said. “You can’t do that to me. Safely. I don’t… I don’t consent to that.”

“I’m not asking you to,” Ryan shot back. “I’m telling you what I want. I’d never do anything to hurt you. I promise.” His face was serious, and even that terrifying light was gone from the backs of his eyes. It was just Ryan, shaking in Shane’s arms.

“I trust you,” Shane said very quietly, and that was probably a sign of the madness that was no doubt riddling his mind like holes in Swiss cheese. “I probably shouldn’t, but… eh.” He shrugged. 

“Eh?” Ryan raised an eyebrow. 

“I find the sports obsession to be weirder than the whole….” Shane put his hand in front of his face with the back of his hand against his lips, his fingers wriggling. 

Ryan raised his other eyebrow. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Just, y’know, the universal symbol for ‘eldritch,’” said Shane. 

“I’ve never seen it before,” Ryan said.

“You’re not originally from this dimension,” said Shane. “You don’t count.”

“I totally count,” said Ryan. “I’d know all the symbols pertaining to me, wouldn’t I?”

“Not necessarily,” Shane said, his tone thoughtful. 

“Regardless,” said Ryan. “You really do trust me?” 

“I really do,” Shane said, in what he hoped was a reassuring tone of voice. 

“I… I want to try touching you with some of my actual body,” said Ryan. “Or at least as much of it as I can manifest.” He looked nervous.

“This won’t kill me, will it?” Shane paused. “Or drive me insane,” he added. He usually forgot about that bit. He’d been driven temporarily crazy once from seeing some of Ryan’s true form, and it had… well, it had been an experience. 

“It… shouldn’t,” Ryan said. “Although there are safety measures we can take.” 

“Safety measures?” Shane raised an eyebrow, and Ryan reached out to smooth Shane’s furrowed brow. 

“If you can’t see,” said Ryan, “you should be good.” Then Ryan kissed him again, and it was the kind of hot, dirty kissing that made Shane want to melt into the couch. 

"If I can't see? Kinky," said Shane, his hands sliding up and down Ryan's sides, tracing the gentle indentation of Ryan's ribs under the soft skin. Of course, they probably weren't _technically_ there. Sort of. 

"Keep your eyes closed," said Ryan, leaning in, his breath hot in Shane's ear.

"Or what?" Shane let Ryan's hand pass over his face to close his eyes. 

"Or your mind will get eaten alive," said Ryan, as if that was a thing to say. 

"You're willing to risk it?" Shane wasn't sure how he felt about that.

"I know I can trust you with anything," Ryan said, and just like that Shane was willing to go all the way to Saturn to drink amongst the cats if Ryan asked him to. 

Maybe Shane was already losing his mind if he was willing to do something this stupid, but, well... Shane had never been a smart man where important decisions were concerned. He knew that about himself. So instead of saying " _this is a horrible idea,_ " or maybe " _can we try something that won't burn my mind alive?_?" he said, "let's turn the lights out, just to be on the safe side."

Ryan grinned against his mouth, and Shane felt... something, although he couldn't put his finger on what it was except that it was sticking in his throat. This was probably not safe on so many different levels - carrying on with something that could eat his mind, that wasn't human in even a technical sense - but... fuck it.

The world was changing, in terrifying ways that Shane didn't want to think about. Sure, there was an entity in his lap that could end all of creation, but... it was also Ryan. Ryan, who was sweet and goofy and weird in the way that _people_ were weird, not just aliens from beyond human knowledge. Ryan was a person, at the end of the day, and a person that Shane had all sorts of feelings for. The kinds of feelings that were worth risking things for. 

"Shane," said Ryan, "I need to turn the lights out." His voice was gentle, and he was nosing into Shane's temple again. Could he hear Shane's thoughts? That would be embarrassing. Shane tried to do his best to keep the bleakness rattling around in his head from popping out of his mouth, but it was a near thing sometimes. 

"I did say that, didn't I?" Shane's hands were down the back of Ryan's pants and he was holding on to Ryan's ass, pulling him closer. Ryan breathed on his face and his heart was beating very fast. 

Was it a real heart, or just a good fake? Was there a piece of muscle the size of Shane's fist in Ryan's chest, thudding away, or was Ryan using some otherworldly trickery to make it _seem_ like there was a heartbeat there? When was a heartbeat a real heartbeat, and when was it the idea of one?

"You're contemplative tonight," Ryan said, his voice ticklish as it buzzed across Shane's skin.

"Can you read my thoughts?" 

"Nah," said Ryan, and he made an amused noise. "You just tend to stare off into space and stop responding. It's either contemplation, or else you're trying to manually reboot."

"Oh," said Shane, snickering. "I guess I overestimated the scope of your powers, huh?" His hands were skating up Ryan's back, along the rippling muscle there. 

"I overestimate the scope of your intellect, so I think we're on equal ground," said Ryan, pulling back so that he could look Shane right in the face. "But seriously. I need you to let go of me if I'm going to turn the light off."

“Gee, thanks,” said Shane, making a face. “Just what a guy likes to hear, that you ‘overestimate the scope of my intellect.’ You sure know how to pillow talk.”

“Sorry,” said Ryan, & he kissed Shane on the temple. “I still remember when your species was still getting used to the whole “having a spine” thing.” 

Shane couldn’t really argue with that. "If you're going to turn the light off," he said, "why don't we just move to the bedroom? Which is dark."

"You're a genius, you are," Ryan said, and his fingers wound through Shane's, his cold fingertips pressed against the back of Shane's. 

"And you know it," said Shane promptly. "I'm the best humanity has to offer, baby!" He preened, and Ryan burst out laughing. 

Ryan's laughter was the most human thing about him, honestly - he wheezed and cackled like a particularly asthmatic hyena. Whatever anxiety had been building in the back of Shane's mind eased, at least a little bit. 

It would all be okay. He'd figure it out. 

It would be _fine_.

* * * 

Shane lay on his bed, Ryan stretched full length on top of him. He kissed and was kissed, first with his hands buried in Ryan's hair, then moving down along Ryan's back to his ass, his shoulders, then back to his hair. Shane wasn't wearing a shirt anymore, and neither was Ryan. Ryan's skin slid across his own, soft and warm and familiar but alien at the same time. 

It was slow, lazy kissing - all the time in the world kissing, the kind that you think kissing is always like when you're young and horny and want to be kissed more than you want to breathe.

The blindfold was technically Ryan’s shirt, tied carefully around his face. It would flutter with each breath Shane took, and when he opened his eyes for an instant he could only make out brief shapes, all shrouded in dark blue. He caught something moving like it was underwater and he closed his eyes, because there were things he knew he needed to not see. 

Ryan's face was pressed against his, and Ryan was kissing him again. But there were _other_ things touching Shane, things that Shane didn't know how to identify except that they were cold, colder than anything had a right to be.but they weren't burning him, somehow. They were moving over him in a boneless way that was making him faintly queasy, but... it was a thing that he was willing to try. 

He just had to breathe.

"You're so warm," Ryan said, still stroking along the length of Shane's body, those same boneless... things curling around Shane's arms, and he could feel it through his pants - like leaning against a metal bench in the winter. 

They made an odd, whispery sort of noise, and Shane wasn't sure why that surprised him - he'd have thought that they'd be completely silent. Maybe they were like pure darkness personified. If he just took a peek... no. No, that would destroy him. 

He should have been more afraid, come to think of it, and yet he wasn't. He just... trusted Ryan. 

Maybe it was stupid, but what was the point of life if not to occasionally be stupid?

Ryan was on top of him now - his chest was bare against Shane's, his skin smooth and familiar. Ryan's breath was hot, and his... what, tendrils? Tentacles? Whatever they were, they were cold and flexible as they made their way across Shane's skin. 

It was... well, no bones about it (as they lacked bones), it was an odd sensation. Not necessarily bad, but Shane was still squirming and tossing his head. He kept his eyes closed and his mouth open. There was a weight on Shane's upper thighs as Ryan sat up, and then there were more tentacles (he decided to call them tentacles for his own sake) stroking his face.

"Shane," Ryan said, his voice was thick, "can I put them in you?" 

"Where do you want to put them?" The tentacle traced along Shane's lower lip. Shane wasn't sure if it was _actually_ tentacle shaped, or just darkness and slickness with a blunt, slippery form. He darted his tongue out to taste it, and it tasted like... nothing. 

Not cold, not ozone, not _anything_. 

"Anywhere you'll let me," Ryan said, and his tone was fervent and desperate. "I want to fill you up, as much as possible. I want to feel every bit of you that I can."

"Okay," Shane said, and it took effort not to open his eyes and meet Ryan's. This didn't feel like the sort of conversation you had with someone while your eyes were covered. "So. I'm okay with... with my mouth, with my ass -"

"Your nose? Your ears?" Ryan sounded eager.

"No," said Shane. "No, those... I need those to be unblocked."

"Can I put one in your dick?" A tentacle wrapped itself around Shane's thigh, squeezing it, and he shivered - from the cold, from his own arousal, who could tell? Even he wasn't sure. 

There was a hot ball of metal in the middle of his stomach, and it filled his whole body up with tension and desperation. It was a strange, new kind of arousal - this gnawing need at the base of his gut, the back of his mind, burrowing down into his skin like maggots. There was something foreign about it, unsettlingly so - he might have considered it malevolent, if Ryan hadn't been its cause.

"Never mind," said Ryan, jolting Shane out of his reverie. "I shouldn't have -"

"You can," Shane interrupted. "Just... be careful, please."

"I'll be so careful," Ryan promised, and then he kissed Shane with renewed intensity, his tongue in Shane's mouth and one hand on Shane's chest, his palm flat over Shane's belly. Ryan’s mouth changed for a moment - it was hard, like a beak, and then it was soft again. "So," he pressed a dry kiss to Shane's lips, "so," another kiss, "careful."

Shane moaned into the kiss and rolled his hips forward, panting into Ryan's mouth. He kept his eyes shut behind the blindfold and ran his hands up and down Ryan's back. The muscles there rippled under his hands - more than they should have been able to, actually, and Shane very quickly left that train of thought behind because _no_ , that was not a thing that he was going to focus on.

Ryan's tentacles were almost delicate as they slid down to Shane's waistband while Ryan's hands were at Shane's waist, unbuttoning Shane's pants. He reached into Shane's boxers and squeezed, right at the tip of Shane's cock, spreading the wetness of Shane's pre-come along his length.

Shane shuddered, his mouth falling open and his hips rolling forward. Ryan knew exactly the way to touch him to make him _crazy_ , and he sobbed. The palm of Ryan's hand rubbed right up against the head of his cock as Ryan's other hand kept it in place. Then Ryan stroked him, long and slow, and Shane's hips bucked up, his head thrown back. He gasped when Ryan pushed his pants down, raising up enough to help. Shane wasn't fully hard yet, but Ryan was seeing to that - his hand was still stroking, his fist squeezing Shane in a grip that was just tight enough to make Shane pant up at the ceiling, his eyes squeezed shut behind his blindfold. 

Ryan's tentacle wrapped around Shane's bare thigh, and then it pushed Shane's pants off of one leg so he could fully open his legs. The tentacle ran up and down Shane's inner thighs, wrapping and squeezing around Shane’s leg. It was a bit like being hugged by a piece of very cold metal, only soft and floppy.

So kind of not at all like being hugged by a piece of very cold metal, apart from the coldness. 

Shane was running out of similes. He was running out of a lot of things, but that didn't really matter, did it? All that mattered was the fact that there was a slick, cold tentacle prodding gently at his asshole, and another tentacle resting on his lower lip. _Is this what a gangbang is like? Something trying to get into every available hole?_ The thought was enough to make Shane smile, and that gave the tentacle the access it needed. It slid into his mouth, resting heavily on his tongue, and he sucked on it. 

It tasted like nothing - it was almost like a sensory uncanny valley; his mouth knew it was full of something, could feel the cold of it and its shape, but it didn't taste like _anything_. Shane sucked on it regardless, and Ryan moaned.

"God, Shane, you're so hot inside. I want to slide inside of you and inhabit you, I want it so badly, I want to be close to you, I want...." 

Shane paused, pulling his head back from the tentacle in his mouth. "Please don't do that," he said, his voice thick. "You can penetrate... you know, other stuff, but don't get down into my stomach, please."

"I won't, don't worry," said Ryan, and his mouth pressed against Shane's temple, somehow. When had that happened? "I want a lot of things that aren't possible." His voice sounded downright wistful, which gave Shane some pause. What did Ryan have to be wistful about, anyway?

"But... within the parameters we discussed, do your worst," Shane said, his heart in his throat. This was going to be a thing that he'd never done before, but let it not be said that Shane Madej wasn't willing to try new things. 

The tip of a tentacle pressed right against the slit of Shane’s dick, and the tip of a different tentacle was against Shane’s hole. It was all a lot to take in. Shane’s body heat seemed to be warming up Ryan’s… whatever they were. Tentacles. The tentacles slid into him all at once, smooth and slick - one tentacle thrust deeper into his mouth, and the other two… were in him. Um. 

It was… it was fullness. There was a tentacle filling his ass, slowly moving inside of him, flexing and relaxing. It was unlike a dick, or someone’s fingers, or a sex toy. It was unlike anything else he’d ever had inside of him, pulsing with some alien energy, pressing down on internal bits of himself that he didn’t even know were sensitive. There was a tentacle in his urethra, and that was an odd thing to think about, in a distant sort of way - something was _in_ his penis, and he’d never even thought about that. He’d never considered putting anything inside of his cock, and now the tip of a delicate tentacle was tracing along the inside of his urethra. 

The tentacle in his ass was thicker than the one in his dick, thank fuck, and the intensity of the sensation of the two of them combined was enough to make him shake. His cock was extra sensitive - Ryan’s fingertip traced down the side of it, over the vein, and Shane cried out around the tentacle in his mouth. It was like his nerves had been primed, and he would have thrashed except at some point tentacles had pushed his thighs further open. Ryan’s chest was still pressed into his.

“Your heart is beating really fast,” Ryan said, and the tentacles inside of Shane’s ass and mouth squirmed. The one inside of Shane’s dick just went a little deeper, and Ryan’s hand stroked him again. 

It was… there was so much feedback coming off of Shane’s nerves. Tentacles pressed on his prostate and on his tongue, and the _other_ tentacle was just barely thrusting while Ryan stroked his cock and kissed along his neck. It was impossible to concentrate on just one thing - he’d focus on the tentacle pressing down on his prostate, only for the tentacle in his cock to shift and then he’d be shaking from that, and Ryan’s fingers would trace down his shaft and he’d be zeroed in on _that_. 

Everything seemed to be happening in flashes - there was cold drool on his chest, Ryan’s breath tickled his neck, the softness of the blanket under his back, the way his sweat dripped down his sides. He was panting, and just… concentrating.

“I can feel all of you,” said Ryan as he began to thrust again, with all three tentacles, and other tentacles squeezed and released. There were so many tentacles - so _very_ many tentacles, and Shane was losing track of them. “I can feel your breath in your lungs. I can taste it. I can see your thoughts - they’re sparking behind your eyes, little pulses of electricity.” He was shaking, and his cock was hard against Shane’s thigh. 

Shane lapped at the underside of the tentacle in his mouth and then worked his jaw to move it out. “Ryan,” Shane said, his voice cracking. “Ryan, please, keep…”

“Keep?” The tentacle in his dick kept moving, the tentacle in his ass kept moving, the tentacles on his thighs kept squeezing, and Ryan’s hand remained around his dick, stroking it gently. 

Shane sobbed and shook. There was so much wetness on his face - tears? Sweat? Drool? Something… something was going to happen. He was going to have an orgasm. It was all there, hovering over him like an anvil on a thin piece of rope. He was going to be squished like a bug, and he didn’t care.

The tentacle in Shane’s dick did a little twist and then slowly pulled out as the tentacle in his ass thrust harder. The pleasure of it was painful - or maybe the pain of it was pleasurable? Was he overthinking this? Shane gasped again as the tentacle slid back into his urethra, and it swelled up a little bit. Just enough to be felt. 

A tentacle pressed against his neck, not choking him, just there, cold and pressed against his pulse point. Ryan’s breath was hot on Shane’s cheek, and his tongue was a hot and wet contrast to the cold tentacles. They kissed, soft and familiar, and it was such a different sensation to the tentacle in his cock, in his ass. Shane brought one hand up to feel along Ryan’s face, only for a tentacle to grab his wrist and hold it down. 

“That’s probably a bad idea right now,” Ryan said, and his tone was very gentle.

Shane was hit with the urge to pull his blindfold off, to open his eyes and stare at Ryan, to see what Ryan’s face looked like at this moment. To hell with the danger, who cared if he lost his mind? Who needed a mind, in this day and age? Why did he need anything, except for the feeling of being held by something that was beyond humanity’s comprehension, of being _wanted_ by something so alien the mere sight of it (of him?) would burn Shane’s mind out like a match in a volcano. 

“The call of the void,” Shane said, his voice creaking, and Ryan stroked him again. 

“Hm?” Ryan kissed along Shane’s neck, gently, somehow _through_ the tentacle. That shouldn’t have been doable, but Shane wasn’t going to think about it. He groaned as more of the tentacle jammed into him, massaging his prostate. And it _hurt_ , except it also didn’t, because it was all slippery (while also being dry, because eldritch things made no sense), filling him up again and again. Ryan just… gently ran his fingers up and down the length of Shane's cock, back and forth, and it somehow made Shane even _more_ aware of the tentacle in his dick and of the way it was flexing gently inside of his urethra. 

There wasn’t much separating the tentacle and Ryan's fingers, come to think of it, and that got… something moving in the back of Shane’s mind, something desperate and needy. “Out. Of my dick, I need it out, I need it… I… _oh_!” Shane was just barely able to tell that he was coming, and then it hit him. The intensity was like sticking a fork in a light socket (he’d only done that once, and he had been young and also had been dared to do it), a jolt, and then he was seeing colors behind his eyes. The tentacle pulled free and his cock erupted, pre-come and semen gushing out like a waterfall down his length, to puddle in his pubic hair and onto his belly. He was still shaking as Ryan carefully removed the tentacle from his ass and then kissed him again. 

“I’m going to change back,” Ryan said, and he kissed Shane on the temple while brushing sweaty hair off of Shane’s forehead. 

Shane nodded, still captivated by his own body. His urethra stung, just a bit, and his cock was pleasantly sore. He was more _aware_ of all of himself, his penis especially. All the spots that the tentacles had touched him seemed to have retained a bit of cold, and he was going to start shivering any second. It was like a thirty second delay, only for reality. How about that?

The shirt was removed from Shane’s face, and then Ryan’s hands were on his shoulders, and Ryan’s mouth was against Shane’s, kissing him gently. “It’s safe to open your eyes now,” he said, his voice quiet.

_Open your eyes, let go of everything. Who needs this life, when you could become an acolyte of something older than you can even comprehend?_

Shane’s thoughts seemed to belong to someone else, and he wondered where they’d come from… and then he heeded the call of the void: he opened his eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> The "shuggoth, not Yuggoth" joke is not mine - I got it off of Tumblr. Still, it is perfect, ain't it?


End file.
